Hi guys, I’m Krato and this is my story, if you are struggling, I hope this will inspire you.
My parents got divorced when I was 11, my older brother was extremely abusive all my life, though I cant I blame him as our parents would fight often physically and my father being his stepfather he had it pretty rough too. It all went south from there, all I’m going to say is that many things went wrong in my life in various ways and of course, I turned to drugs and self mutilation to silence the pain, trust me, it’s not worth it in the end.
I started smoking tobacco products at age 13, weed at 14 and was drinking heavily by age 16. My entire self image changed and I rebelled in anyway I could possibly think of: heavy metal, sex, skateboarding, vandalism and street fighting, can’t blame me right? I was angry…I blame myself. I dropped out of school at 17 and joined a local gang. I was arrested twice and did what I had to do to get my record expunged. Life sucked and was still only going south, it carried on like this until I was 22.
Until I came to realization that it had all been my choice and that my choices were influenced by the weed and booze clogging up my brain.
Anyone can change their life, but they have to want to first. I was working a dead job in a pub and all I could think about was the next hit, how sweet that ‘j’ is gonna taste when I get home. But something changed, something in me didn’t want to live like that anymore.
I analyzed myself in the 3rd person and I just saw how pathetic I really had become. I had always made excuses for my ill behavior and blamed it on my past, my parents and those who wronged me. Until I came to realization that it had all been my choice and that my choices were influenced by the weed and booze clogging up my brain. I felt weak, stupid and idle…and I did not want to feel like that anymore.
I decided to change my life, I stopped smoking weed cold turkey but ended up drinking more because of it, this was not exactly a solution, the solution was in my head, booze is obviously not going to give me the high that I had become addicted to and I felt the fool every-time I got drunk and got up to mischief. Yet when I was sober, I would not dream of doing the things I did. That was it; I had had it; ‘enough, no more’ I told myself.
I quit drinking and started learning – a bit of this, bit of that – I needed to find out what I was good at so I tried everything. I became addicted to learning and, no, it was not easy. The first few months, your mind is still fried. It’s been almost 4 years now and I’ve taught myself how to design 2-D and 3-D art, how to code web pages and develop games in C#, how to read music and play musical instruments, woodwork…the list goes on. I am forever learning things and about myself. “Nosce Te Ipsum” (Know Thyself).
The choice to pick up an unhealthy addiction is yours…so the choice to drop it again is also yours.
Making excuses for the drug abuse is common but you are only fooling yourself and in the end it is you who will suffer for it. Bad things happen and trust me, drugs, violence and alcohol do not make it better, it makes it worse. Problems can’t be buried, only dealt with, don’t let bad things linger in your mind, it is maddening. Even after being dulled by addiction for almost 10 years, it is possible to come back, the feeling of being able to think clearly everyday is uplifting, it a better high than any drug I’ve ever tried.
From sleeping on the street to running my own company. Free your mind, it can be done however the choice lies with you, what are you going to do?