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Love and Relationships
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Codependent or Loving? Part II
Bravery, love and trust are three important keys to breaking out of a toxic, codependent way of living.
-
Riding the Wave of Disappointment: Beware of the Bear!
People who have trouble dealing with the inevitable disappointments in life tend to experience the most disappointment with themselves.
-
Addiction in the Family: Is Someone You Love Affected by Another Person’s Addiction?
Being the loved one of a loved one of someone who’s struggling with addiction can be equally as frustrating and painful.
-
Codependent or Loving? Part I
Individuals and families who operate from love, not codependency, have the courage to be honest with one another.
-
Falling Down…and Getting Up
What lessons from Tracy’s story that might help those dealing with their own unexpected struggles come into our lives,
-
Spotlight on Crisis Text Line
Trained counselors at The Crisis Textline support millions of young people who find themselves facing some of their toughest, darkest, and most dangerous moments.
-
Why is Giving Up People Pleasing So Difficult?
The thought of giving up “being the nice guy” can be so overwhelming and paralyzing that we put our heads in the sand.
-
What Our Athletes Can Teach Us About Recovery!
Whether you follow cycling, tennis or any of the competitions that took place in Rio, it is hard not to be inspired and learn from some of the stories.
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Addiction and Codependency: Top 10 Reasons to Stop Enabling the Addict You Love (Part II)
This week, in Part Two of this countdown, we’re unveiling the top five reasons you should stop enabling the addict you love.
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Addiction and Codependency: Top 10 Reasons to Stop Enabling the Addict You Love (Part I)
Over the years of helping those affected by addiction, it’s become obvious that in order for sustainable change to happen, the behaviors of the loved ones must be addressed.
-
Journaling as an Aid to Recovery
Journaling is a self-reflective activity, and it can be aided by the use of other activities that also foster an inner, reflective state. The use of a journal can be an important tool in your recovery toolbox.
-
Amazing Grace: How Unconditional Forgiveness Assists Recovery
Coming to believe and accept that you are worthy of grace can be a real turning point in your recovery.
-
Coloring Outside the Lines of Forgiveness
The saying in AA “our secrets keep us sick” holds true for many, but what if we are not ready to scrape the scab off of our wounds?
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The Heart of Forgiveness
It is quite possible, if you are open to a process that involves acceptance of human frailty and imperfections, to forgive yourself.
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50 Shades of Vulnerable: The Art of Coming Clean About Recovery
To tell or not to tell, that is the question many professionals in recovery must explore, but the answer doesn’t always come easy.
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A New Twist on Valentine’s Day: ‘I Love You, But I Love Me More’
When someone is lacking in self-love, they come into relationships from a place of neediness, looking for validation of their own self worth.
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Compassion Fatigue: Is it Happening to Your Family?
Marsha’s emotional spirit and physical health were beaten down by the seemingly hopeless addictions that plagued her husband and daughter.
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Are You Addicted to Chaos?
I often find my patients resisting letting go of the chaos and dysfunction that was part of their lives during their active addiction. Why?
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6 Essential Tips for Your First Sober Holiday Season
Are you part of the growing legion of sober men and women who will march into this holiday season for the first time?
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Alcoholism, Family and the Miracle of Change
I remember the emotion that filled the room that day; whatever happened didn’t only affect my grandfather, it also affected me.
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Heal Fractured Relationships with These 7 Tools
Are you attached to your brokenness and to high-drama within relationships? These tendencies must be surrendered for healing to occur.
-
Grieving the Death of Addiction
Comparing the relationship with addiction to a death provides a concrete finality that addicts need in order to reach the stage of acceptance.
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6 Tips for Dealing with Grief & Loss in Recovery
Four days before their 40th wedding anniversary, Bill’s wife dies in a tragic auto accident. After the funeral, Bill discards his 35 years of sobriety and…
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We’re in This Together: Aiming for Success in Recovery and Relationship
So what exactly can couples do to make their relationships better, while addressing the needs of the recovering partner?
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The Female Bully and the Codependent Part II: “A Smelly Turd in a Pretty Package”
People who repeatedly attack your confidence and self-esteem are quite aware of your potential, even if you are not. -
Addiction and Family Systems: The Real Story
We know that certain types of family dysfunction are linked with addiction. Family Systems Theory involves taking a close look at how your family operates […] -
The Female Bully and the Codependent: “A Smelly Turd in a Pretty Package”
Female bullies are challenging to identify because they are more covert, manipulative, devious, believable, and may even be smiling while they are bullying. -
How to Stay Healthy While Loving an Addicted Person
Is it possible to love an addict in active addiction and stay healthy ourselves? My answer is an emphatic “yes," but the focus has to […] -
An Introduction to Masculine and Feminine Energy in Recovery
When it comes to addiction and recovery, masculine and feminine energy balance become very important. -
Make No Mistake: Support is a Basic Building Block of Recovery
I think it’s unfortunate that in this day in age, asking for help has somehow become a sign of self-perceived weakness or failure. -
Adolescent Sleep Deprivation and Risk-Taking Behaviors: Helping Teens Establish Healthy Sleep Habits
Sleep deprivation is a serious matter and it can adversely affect a teen’s life, but parents can help by being proactive. -
Fact vs. TV Fiction: What to Expect From a Real Intervention
Here's what experts had to say about signs that signify it's time to bring in a professional, what to expect, and how to prepare for […] -
Honest Self-Assessment: Are You Ready to Date in Recovery?
Attraction is a powerful force and human beings tend to do things that are not smart because of its magnetic pull. -
My Interview with Nadia Ghaffari: Meet the Amazing 18-Year-Old Founder of TeenzTalk
Nadia Ghaffari is the 18-year-old founder of TeenzTalk, a non-profit dedicated to supporting and empowering youth by harnessing peer-to-peer connections. -
Prepare U: The Mental, Emotional, and Behavioral Health Curriculum for Students
Prepare U is a mental, emotional, and behavioral health curriculum designed to deliver the mental health tools necessary for students to navigate the complex challenges […] -
My Diagnosis is Not an Excuse, It’s a Responsibility
If we want to be understood, we need to gently explain to the people we love most that we have an awareness of what is […] -
Your Ticket to Sober Travels
Vacations are wonderful times to let loose, immerse in a new culture and rejuvenate the mind, body and spirit. But what do you do if […] -
Healing From Betrayal
Betrayal is one of life’s greatest challenges, so it can be one of life’s greatest teachers. -
Self-Care for Loved Ones: The Antidote to Codependency
Letting addicts get away with manipulating us is an enabling stance on our part – and it results in their failure to thrive, almost without […] -
Is Our Perception of Self-Care Distorted?
Let’s start to give ourselves more credit for the everyday self-care we undertake, rather than trying to achieve the unrealistic. -
The Law of Attraction: Help for Addiction Recovery
I have come to realize that most people – myself included sometimes – generally go through their days from beginning […] -
Supporting an Addicted Friend or Family Member During the Holidays
For an addicted person, the pressures of the holiday season can cause long-dormant behaviors to re-emerge, as people often return to old habits during times […] -
Practicing the Art of Forgiveness
Recognizing the pain, shame, and guilt of what you’re holding onto is the first step toward self-forgiveness, and you are fully deserving of forgiveness and […] -
Setting and Keeping Boundaries
Boundary-setting is required when there is danger of someone overstepping the limits of acceptable behavior. And this can only occur if it is allowed. -
It’s Time: You Deserve to Raise Your Standards
Raising your standards is the first step to getting everything you want out of life, and it’s a step that you deserve to take. -
Should You Smoke Weed With Your Kid – Even if They’re 18?
It’s probably safe to say that parents of both adult children and teenagers are trying to figure out how serious an offense it is or […] -
How Understanding Anger Revolutionizes Addiction Recovery
When we deny our anger, it doesn’t disappear. On the contrary, it creates havoc with everything from our immune systems to our emotional health. -
Should I Stay or Should I Go? The Dilemma of Addiction
Learning how to set and maintain self-respectful boundaries is the best thing families can do when dealing with an addicted person. -
I’m an In-Between Woman: The Trials and Tribulations of Being Sober and (Still) Crazy
At six years sober, I am both relieved and embarrassed to admit, I am almost as unpredictable now as I was after 10 shots of […] -
Let’s Talk About the Stigma Surrounding Sobriety
Two-thirds of adults believe addiction can be "cured," but many of them report being uncomfortable around someone two or more years into recovery. -
Let’s Talk About Diffusing Defensive Communication
Defensive communication happens when a message triggers a sense of threat, and therefore defensiveness, on the part of the listener. -
The Secret to Stopping Addiction in Your Family – Forever
My choice to remain in recovery is entirely up to me and no one else. The moment I decide to stop practicing holistically healthy self-care […] -
Why Your Teen May Think Pot is No Big Deal
With nearly 60 percent of high school seniors reporting marijuana is safe, it is evident they don’t fully understand the repercussions of the drug. -
Finding Your Own Voice in Recovery
Recovery means you must also recover your individual voice. It means taking the journey to find what is true for you, and not letting others […] -
What Every Parent Needs to Know About Teen Opioid Abuse
As a parent, it's your job to make sure your teen understands the dangers of opiate abuse and understands how quickly one can become addicted. -
Stopping Addiction in the Family: Welcome to the “Blame-Shame-Game”
As the loved one of an addict, will you be the one to stop this disturbing game in its tracks? Will you care enough to […] -
The Vulnerability of Being Alive
To truly brave the weather of our inner landscape and navigate the sea of worldly affairs, we are asked to be willing to let others […] -
Family Addiction: Transformation and Healing Are Possible
The change began when they finally reached out for help for themselves – that’s when they started to see their family heal and transform. -
Relationship Red Flags: People to Avoid During Recovery
If you are in recovery, it is essential to make an effort to avoid repeating patterns of behavior that draw you into toxic relationships. -
What Does Self-Love Actually Look Like?
Contrary to how it’s frequently thought of, self-love is not something we have or don’t have. It is something we do. Self-love is a verb. […] -
Why Do People Drink and Drive? The Answers Are Pretty Jarring…
I’d like to think that, since I was always a “smart girl” - one of those social “high-bottom,” drinkers - I would have known better […] -
She Does Indeed Recover
I had never quite realized - until I was surrounded by 499 versions of me - just what a woman I am. -
Sex and Codependents: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
We all benefit when we collectively start to support one another by saying no to sexual bullies. The first step is to say no when […] -
The Pain of Addiction in the Family: How Counseling Can Help
Sara didn’t understand that she was exhibiting codependent behaviors by putting other people’s needs and wants ahead of her own on a fairly consistent basis. […] -
Recovery is Relational – And So is Your Career
By building trust, being a great leader, and growing your network with recovery principles, you will experience greater joy at work. -
Common Sense Tools for the Friend of Someone Who is Brainwashed!
Very smart, educated, healthy people can, for some unknown, reason come under the spell of opportunistic, toxic, and insecure people. -
Common Sense Ways to Stay Friends With a Victim
We often struggle with what to say to victims, how much time to spend with them, and how to continue being their friend. -
Self-Care vs. Codependency: Exploding the Myths about People-Pleasing
Remember that you really are not supposed to be all things to all people and that everyone has their own journey. -
Handling Criticism Through Humility: Lessons From Recovery to Benefit the Workplace
Here are three ways to make sure you’re creating a safe environment for yourself, your recovery and your peers through humility in the workplace. -
Helping an Addict Choose Recovery
In addiction, the person with the problem often does not recognize the severity of their problem and they are reluctant to address it. -
Valentine’s Day in Recovery: What Will Yours Be Like?
Don't buy into the misguided belief that you're nobody until somebody else loves you! Why not learn to love yourself first? -
Addiction, Recovery, and Responsibility: Is It My Door to Open?
Have you ever tried to force something to go differently, whether it’s a particular situation or a relationship that you know deep down is just […] -
Dealing With Internal Losses
Internal losses are the reduction or disappearance of those inner qualities and feelings that drive how we feel about ourselves, how we engage others, and […] -
Relationships in Recovery: Balancing Personal and Partner Needs
Romantic partners are usually our primary source of the close bonds we need to thrive, but can you have a successful intimate relationship while in […] -
His Beautiful Death
While my mother recovered in ICU, I brought her a photo of my puppy, a tiny pug named Maximus. Her face lit up in a […] -
Having Sex in Recovery: A Meeting Between the Sheets
Thousands of people are sober; thousands are confused about having sex. But one thing is very thing clear: we need to talk more about sex […] -
3 Signs That Your Loved One Is Suffering from Disordered Eating
In a world where dieting and the need to be skinny is openly talked about, we never know what is beneath the behaviors. -
Codependency and Narcissists: Let’s Make Something Go Right! (Part II)
Let's give the codependent some valuable tools to get out from under the clutches of the narcissist’s seven deadly sins. -
It’s 2017: The Year of Living… Happily?
Am I really saying that we can be “happy” in this coming year? Yes, we can - if we choose to be. -
Codependency and Narcissists: What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (Part I)
The focus of wanting approval may keep us from acknowledging abusive behaviors coming from the very person whose approval we seek. -
Getting Sober Young Isn’t Social Suicide
While you may end up steering clear of the kind of parties where you leave smelling like a bar, you’ll find plenty of fun things […] -
Abundance Has Never Been in Short Supply
It took a while for me to see abundance in my life, but I finally did. I hope this story, my story, helps you […] -
Codependency and Contentious Times (Part II)
Let’s all be better people, vibrate at a higher level if you relate to the spiritual discourse, and make our world a place where we […] -
3 Sure-Fire Strategies for a Chaos-Free Holiday Season
The Holiday Season is upon us once more. (Wasn’t it just Halloween a few days ago?) This is definitely a time of year that evokes […] -
Avoid Holiday Blues and Post-Holiday Letdown
Not all of us experience the holiday spirit. While everyone else is seemingly experiencing peace and joy, you may be feeling down, depressed and irritable. -
5 Tips to Help Parents Better Manage the Holidays
Though your life might not feel “perfect,” you can still enjoy the holidays - even if your kids are struggling with substance use or in […] -
The Unspoken Links Between Sexual Trauma and Binge Eating
The weight of this pain isn’t just emotional, it’s also physical. The work starts as soon as we can voice the pain, speak to it […] -
Holiday Strategies for Those with Food Addiction
For those who deal with food addiction, the holidays often trigger issues that are already difficult to handle, and evoke feelings that are far from […] -
How to Support Your Child in Meaningful Ways During Their Early Recovery
Addiction and recovery affect the entire family. When family members openly take part in healing, it improves their health and quality of life. -
The Ultimate Guide to Behavioral Filters
The consequences of allowing our behavior to “just happen,” can be that our lives and our relationships are inconsistent, at best, and a train wreck […] -
Does an Attitude of Gratitude Affect Recovery?
Keeping a Gratitude Journal and making a daily Gratitude List are excellent ways to put into practice your intention to strengthen your gratitude muscle. -
Codependent or Loving? Part II
Bravery, love and trust are three important keys to breaking out of a toxic, codependent way of living. -
Riding the Wave of Disappointment: Beware of the Bear!
People who have trouble dealing with the inevitable disappointments in life tend to experience the most disappointment with themselves. -
Being Humble in Recovery But Confident at Work – And How to Stay Balanced
When your recovery intersects with a job hunt, career move or professional advancement, tact and balance must be learned. -
Addiction in the Family: Is Someone You Love Affected by Another Person’s Addiction?
Being the loved one of a loved one of someone who's struggling with addiction can be equally as frustrating and painful. -
Codependent or Loving? Part I
Individuals and families who operate from love, not codependency, have the courage to be honest with one another. -
Falling Down…and Getting Up
What lessons from Tracy’s story that might help those dealing with their own unexpected struggles come into our lives, -
Spotlight on Crisis Text Line
Trained counselors at The Crisis Textline support millions of young people who find themselves facing some of their toughest, darkest, and most dangerous moments. -
3 Dangerous New Teen Drug Trends
Drug fads can particularly be difficult for parents to keep up with, as the drug “hype” today may not be the drug “craze” tomorrow. -
Why is Giving Up People Pleasing So Difficult?
The thought of giving up “being the nice guy” can be so overwhelming and paralyzing that we put our heads in the sand. -
What Our Athletes Can Teach Us About Recovery!
Whether you follow cycling, tennis or any of the competitions that took place in Rio, it is hard not to be inspired and learn from […] -
Addiction and Codependency: Top 10 Reasons to Stop Enabling the Addict You Love (Part II)
This week, in Part Two of this countdown, we're unveiling the top five reasons you should stop enabling the addict you love. -
Addiction and Codependency: Top 10 Reasons to Stop Enabling the Addict You Love (Part I)
Over the years of helping those affected by addiction, it’s become obvious that in order for sustainable change to happen, the behaviors of the loved […] -
Authenticity vs. Attachment: Which One Will You Choose?
When people are faced with the choice of either attachment or authenticity in their relationships, most choose attachment first, seeking approval and recognition from others […] -
How to Get the Best Out of Your 12-Step Meeting!
Attending a support group can be a very positive part of your recovery plan, as long as you understand what […] -
Differences Between Your Professional Mentor and Recovery Supports – And How They Can Help You
Professional mentors and recovery supports are highly beneficial, but it's important to remember the differences between the two and the unique mentorship they provide. -
5 Tips for Steering Teens Away From Drugs
Parenting a teen isn't easy, but it's important to have a plan in place to steer them clear of drugs and alcohol. -
Battered Woman Syndrome
In the US, 50-80% of women who are victims of physical assault report a domestic partner is the perpetrator; with nearly 2 million women experiencing […] -
Self-Respect 101: We Teach Other People How to Treat Us
We teach other people how to treat us. I absolutely believe this to be true, although there can be a variety of reasons for the […] -
How We Found Our Way From Addiction to Recovery
We were on a Boulder mountain trail hiking when my daughter finally admitted she was using crystal meth. I was devastated. -
Boxed Wine and Turkey Grease: A Lesson in Identification Projection
I was terrified that if I stopped creating problems, we would be forced to look at the real issue, which was my addiction. -
Embracing Recovery, the Need for Human Connection and CRAFT
As a therapist, I’m encouraged by fresh thinking and new approaches that build upon what is absolutely essential for humans: the need for connection. […] -
Should You Have a Sober Wedding?
What does it mean to have a "sober wedding" and are they right for every couple out there ready to tie the knot? -
7 Ways Parents Can Help Move Their Child Away From Substance Use
How should parents best deal with a child's drug or alcohol abuse? And what approach should you take in talking to your child? -
In Able-ing the Recovering
What does enabling look like when you're trying to help a loved one in recovery and how can you prevent it? -
Summer, Teens and Drugs
Let's look at some tips designed to help parents keep their kids safe and sober this summer. -
Is My Child Just Experimenting?
Addressing a potential drug problem as early as possible gives teens and young adults the best chance of avoiding long-term substance use. -
To Love From Recovery: 5 Tips for Success!
What can successful recovery teach you about successful love and relationships? -
Caring for Aging Parents
Knowing the stress that comes from caring for an aging parent, guarding your own health and sobriety is paramount. -
Making Peace With Pain – Part II
Finding Meaning and Purpose In this section, I want to demonstrate how I – and many others- faced the painful […] -
How Addiction Affects Families and How Families Can Help
Addiction impacts everyone it comes in contact with, but family members undoubtedly bear the brunt. -
Self-Empowerment, Relationships and Recovery
Early recovery can be an emotional roller coaster, with moods swinging between pleasant and unpleasant. -
A Glimpse Into the Unhealthy Habits of Exaholics
Once a relationship goes sour and self-care becomes a priority, it's time to turn off the brain’s stimulation for your ex. -
Forgiveness – Part II Cultivating Forgiveness
Are you ready for a new way to think about forgiveness and, perhaps, even find the willingness and courage to consider moving forward in your […] -
Forgiveness – Part I
As it relates to addiction, it's paramount to understand the meaning of forgiveness and the results this act can bring. -
Are You Addicted to Love?
With Valentine's Day just around the corner, painful relationship situations become increasingly hard to deal with...especially if you are addicted to love. -
Hiding In Front of Me
We often think that wearing masks - covering up or hiding who we really are - is a way to keep others at bay. In […] -
Journaling as an Aid to Recovery
Journaling is a self-reflective activity, and it can be aided by the use of other activities that also foster an inner, reflective state. The use […] -
(Trauma) Recovery Caregiving: 10 Tips to Navigate the Chaos
In the chaos of recovery, people can easily lose themselves in the stress and drama that surrounds the person for whom you’re caring. -
Liar, Liar: How to Break Free from Habitual Lying
Lies seem to serve the same purpose as the addictive substance itself – they provide an escape from difficulty and unpleasantness. -
Use the 12 Traditions to Improve Your Relationships
Do I focus on my partner’s defects to feel better about myself, and to avoid seeing and changing my own defects? -
Amazing Grace: How Unconditional Forgiveness Assists Recovery
Coming to believe and accept that you are worthy of grace can be a real turning point in your recovery. -
Coloring Outside the Lines of Forgiveness
The saying in AA “our secrets keep us sick” holds true for many, but what if we are not ready to scrape the scab off […] -
The Heart of Forgiveness
It is quite possible, if you are open to a process that involves acceptance of human frailty and imperfections, to forgive yourself. -
Romance in Recovery: Are You Rushing Your Relationship?
It is important that you honestly identify whether or not you may have a tendency toward codependency in your romantic relationships. -
Use the 12 Traditions to Improve Your Relationships
I was failing to remember that it is my job, an inside job, to be self-supporting emotionally and spiritually. -
50 Shades of Vulnerable: The Art of Coming Clean About Recovery
To tell or not to tell, that is the question many professionals in recovery must explore, but the answer doesn’t always come easy. -
The 3 Phases of Erotic Recovery After Infidelity
After an affair, your well-meaning family and friends may tell you things like, “once a cheater, always a cheater.” -
A New Twist on Valentine’s Day: ‘I Love You, But I Love Me More’
When someone is lacking in self-love, they come into relationships from a place of neediness, looking for validation of their own self worth. -
Compassion Fatigue: Is it Happening to Your Family?
Marsha's emotional spirit and physical health were beaten down by the seemingly hopeless addictions that plagued her husband and daughter. -
Use the 12 Traditions to Improve Your Relationship
Judgment comes from the head, mercy from the heart; judgment wounds, mercy heals; judgment separates, mercy unites. -
Are You Addicted to Chaos?
I often find my patients resisting letting go of the chaos and dysfunction that was part of their lives during their active addiction. Why? -
Use the 12 Traditions to Improve Your Relationship
The 12 Traditions are to relationships what the 12 Steps are to sobriety. Use these tools to improve your romantic relationship in recovery. -
Why You Should Set Boundaries with Family During the Holidays
The most prevalent question that I am asked by families this time of year is, “do we need to make this holiday a dry event?” […] -
6 Essential Tips for Your First Sober Holiday Season
Are you part of the growing legion of sober men and women who will march into this holiday season for the first time? -
Do You Need Inspiration for a Hopeful Holiday Season?
Don’t predict and return to the negativity of the past. Decide to make a change for yourself with hope, forgiveness and empathy. -
Alcoholism, Family and the Miracle of Change
I remember the emotion that filled the room that day; whatever happened didn’t only affect my grandfather, it also affected me. -
Heal Fractured Relationships with These 7 Tools
Are you attached to your brokenness and to high-drama within relationships? These tendencies must be surrendered for healing to occur. -
Grieving the Death of Addiction
Comparing the relationship with addiction to a death provides a concrete finality that addicts need in order to reach the stage of acceptance. -
6 Tips for Dealing with Grief & Loss in Recovery
Four days before their 40th wedding anniversary, Bill’s wife dies in a tragic auto accident. After the funeral, Bill discards his 35 years of sobriety […] -
We’re in This Together: Aiming for Success in Recovery and Relationship
So what exactly can couples do to make their relationships better, while addressing the needs of the recovering partner?
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