Deciding to get clean and sober was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. But, living life without alcohol and drugs is also the most rewarding thing that I choose to do every single day.
I’ve been sober for over two years and, although I still struggle from time to time, my recovery path is a lot smoother now than it was when I first began.
Overrun by Emotion
I drank to numb myself, so when I sobered up I was completely overwhelmed with emotions. I didn’t understand how I felt so many different things at once. I experienced such a rush of the most intense feelings. Of course, my first instinct was to run, but I decided to try something new: journaling.
I received a journal from a friend when I was two weeks sober and little did I know that it would become my saving grace. My “little green book” became my best friend, my confidant, and my own little therapy session each and every night for those six months I was in rehab. I was so used to keeping everything inside, but with writing I was able to take a pencil and just let my feelings flow out of me onto paper – it was like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders.
Eventually, writing in my journal helped me share my story.
Write It Down
Today, I write about anything and everything; it’s very cathartic. My favorite thing to write is a gratitude list. I make a list of 10 things I’m grateful for that day. Even on my worst days, there’s always something to appreciate that keeps me pushing forward.
I am very thankful for that journal I received two years ago. I like to look back on the things I wrote in early recovery and see how far I have come. Things I considered to be the “end of the world” back then wouldn’t even phase me today. But that just goes to show it does get easier, one day at a time.
My sobriety will always be at the top of my gratitude list; without it I wouldn’t be where I am today.
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