Who is up for a step study thread?

Hello dear ones. I would like to start a step study. I have been in and around AA and NA and even CR for many years. As I know that there are many paths to recovery. Steps may not be for all. But they have surely worked for me. And quite a few people I know. Most anyone with long term recovery, will tell you they have done it. So i extend a heart felt invitation to anyone and everyone. Not sure how it will go. But lets try??
The 1rst step says, "We admitted we were powerless over our situation and our life was out of control."
 For me. That means I must admit. Accept. And believe that I am powerless over my gambling addiction. Try as I may. I cannot. and willnot beat it alone. The urge, or compulsion is stronger than any of my hardest efforts. People say it take will power. And to some extent that is true. But there comes a day, when I cannot muster up enough courage to beat it alone. No mental defense is strong enough. Apostle Paul says, "Why is it i do what I dont want to do. And cant do what I know to do?" I must be honest and say that I cannot do right all the time. If you can? Kudos to you. My money life was totally out of control. So I am here to admit. And believe I am powerless over gambling.
I just ask that you dig deep and tell us your thought on Step 1.
Anyone? @dominica @deand @Leaker @Goodtr8s @TWSJ and our newest Freedom Express family. @ocean 
  • 19 Commentsby Likes|Date
  • @Tommy, I'm so very proud for your 14, now (16?) days! 
    For me, admitting I had something controlling me and then surrendering or turning it over, to my higher power, are both the 1st and 2nd step. They kind of go together in my opinion. I HAVE heard of people working step 1, then having trouble with #2.. 
  • Hey, @dominica! I''m trying to stay busy here at the house ( my work is at home). It's been too hot to do much outside! 
    I did go through a rough spot with my husband and have been doing some pretty deep self eval stuff. When I was using I was easier to get along with and just tolerated a lot of bull***t. I already have high expectations and now with out pills, my "blinders" are off. It's been an adjustment for my husband and me. It's been hard. 
    Today makes 73 days without Tramadol or any Opiates. I went through some oral surgery and this aggravation with husband without using! There was opportunity to have some here in the house...and I stood strong. It wasn't easy. It wasn't easy.
    Thanks for asking about me. I've been packing for our trip to Africa...hope I haven't miss the train!! :- ) 
  • My first step is that I am addicted to porn, one day sober here. It's tough when the urges overpower you. Being here helps a lot I hope it can save my marriage.
  • @Goodtr8s... Congrats on 73 days!! That's so incredibly awesome!! And getting through oral surgery (along with your husband's aggravation) without using???? That's even more badass!

    You are doing so great. I'm super proud of you. You are a rock star! :)
  • @Goodtr8s Wow. 73 days is amazing!! Good for you. LOL at husband. I remember I would not even care to argue with my wife.Just take some Norco pills and froget it. I remember thinking at a month clean. Man, if we have a disagreement, how will i deal with those emotions? And 18 months later it is a non issue. Having worked the steps really helps to take me out of myself. Most of mine is pride. And that had to be squashed!! Congrats on being clean. You have not missed the train. We waited on you. We did however take a side trip up to Northern Ca to see the redwoods.
  • @Goodtr8s yay for 73 days! that's AMAZING!!

    partners/spouses can certainly aggravate huh? i think most of us can relate to that... grrr. (hee hee) i do try to not point finger and instead, see what is rising in me that i have opportunity to work on... for me, it's usually patience and compassion.... i get annoyed, and well, love to just have all go my way, so for me...when i'm aggravated, i try to be kind and compassionate...(not always successful)

    africa!! yay! omg, can't wait to hear about your trip! :)
  • @Tommy thank you for sharing. step one is so important. glad you are admitting that you need some help... yes, addiction can take us for a loop...  Admitting powerlessness is an important step on the path to freedom and strength. It takes honesty and courage to accept that something has taken over your life.

    so, yes, i am powerless too, in various areas. i drop my pride and humbly admit that left to my "self", i can create a mess....i think for me lately my addiction has been surfacing in my thought life...in busying my mind...if that makes sense... so for me, i admit powerlessness over "doing"...striving... makes sense to me...

    anyway, happy saturday everyone!
  • Well, @tommy, I will be the argumentative one, probably for a lot of the steps. They do have their place, and if one draws strength from them, so much the better, but I butt heads with the philosophy a lot.

    I avoided seeking help for my problem partly because I thought AA was the only way to go, and Step 1 was a non-starter for me. I don't believe I am powerless against anything about myself. The negative parts of my personality are a result of apathy, or not seeing the reasons and motivation to change. With education, and logic, I can make whatever change I want to. The trick is finding the motivation, and the educational reasoning that hits home.

    Case it point, after I joined this forum, I decided to try the techniques of Easy Way on biting my finger nails. I'd done it for most of my life. It was truly a habit. Maybe not an addiction, but addiction's little brother. I realized it was unprofessional for me to be in my cube chomping away, and just not for me anymore. I didn't say I was powerless, I said I have the ability to make positive  change, and after a month or so, I was where I wanted to be. There was the reason, and the education was what I already knew, that biting nails is unsanitary and unsightly.
  • Thanks for responding guys. As I agree somewhat with @Leaker. What about something you cannot change? with will power. Suppose you had some sort of illness. Say the flu or food poison. Coud you change that? With will power and education? I am not saying what you said is untrue. Many aspects it is true. But personally i believe there are things I cannot control. And need outside help. That is powerless. And if alcoholism is a disease, then would it not be in that category?? For some I would say yes. And no offense meant at all. With all due respect. I have found that the principals of the steps are designed to crush my ego. For me. To look to a God of my understanding to provide for me in the areas that I cannot. I do not find it arguementive. As I like a good healthy debate.
  • @tommy,

    That is very true. There are some things that positive attitude and conviction can't fix. Unless someone is looking at the merits of faith healing, cancers, flu, food poison, ect requires some outside support.

    Does alcoholism fall into that category? For most, I'd say yes. I will freely admit I needed outside help to start fixing myself. But I never thought I was powerless. I had to admit that I was an alcoholic and I needed help, but I didn't have to say I was powerless and needed someone else to fix me. Maybe I am in the minority.

    I will also concur that a huge part of getting in the correct mindset to enact a recovery is humility. For me it was arrogance and apathy that got me into my situation. I needed to be humbled to break the arrogance, and I needed to see what I was about to lose to get rid of the apathy.

    This whole Step discussion might be very interesting indeed...
  • good topic. i never liked the word "powerless" very much.... but like tommy said, it strips us of ego...lol  and that ego sure does love power, huh?

    i like the word surrender better. for me step one is more like, "my life is not going how i want it to because of XYZ.... and i've tried to change it and damn, haven't done so well... i need some help."

    :)

    happy sunday.
  • Thank you @Tommy for the opportunity to contemplate, talk about and perhaps even work the steps here on the forum. It has been many years since I've attempted and then only completed the first 5. I still pull out my Big Blue Book and always find something to fit my situation at the time. I still work steps 1, 2, and 3 every once in a while. I suppose if I attended meetings again, I might be more diligent in working further. 
  • Hello all you dear people. I am celebrating 14 days today. Not once have I gone online to gamble!! However I have played a few scratchers. I was trying to justify it somehow. lol As an addict i can and will justify just about anything. I have won a few dollars. I have lost a few dollars. So I must admit that the scratchers are not a good idea. Its like an alcoholic getting off hard liquor by drinking beer. I have enjoyed the step study thread. Got some good ideas and feedback. I agree with @dominica I do not like being powerless. Surrender is a better word. Like waving the white flag. I am tired. And cant do this alone. I would guess just admitting there is a problem, is a good start to Step 1. 
  • @Tommy hey you!! congrats on 14 days.... NO MORE SCRATCHERS! :) 

    surrender for sure... i'm surrendering an area myself.. not an addiction, but a concern... giving it to higher power..best as i can...

    hope you are having a good evening!
  • I'm so proud of you for hitting 14 days, @Tommy! But I agree with @dominica: NO MORE SCRATCHERS!!! You said it best yourself...It's like an alcoholic trying to get off hard liquor by drinking beer. Those scratchers are no good little sons-of-you-know-what! The next time they start calling your name, tell 'em to suck it!!

    Keep waving that white flag. Surrender, my friend. 

    Now, on to Day 15 for you!
  • @Goodtr8s hey you! how are you doing???
  • @Chudmeister... The first step is the hardest. I'm proud of you for taking it. We are here for you, my friend.
  • Thanks for the cheers, @dean, @dominica and you, @Tommy! I've also contained my binge eating and bought a new shirt for all my work!

    @Tommy, back to some step work...
    I was taught and have to agree, that, it is far easier for us to work steps 1, 2, and 3 as close in proximity as possible, for they can be difficult and may take a while to become a mindset. Have you ever heard this advice?

    1.We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.

    2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

    3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of "God" as we understood "God".



  • @Goodtr8s Yes I have heard that. I have been in, and even led many step studies. We had a groupd of us, who did them 5 times!! Same group. Tremendous bonds created. As I want to stop my gambling addiction. I must work these 3 again. I tell you, number one is tough for me. Couple reasons. One is I am able to fix anything fro cars houses. I am also stubborn. Maybe a little denial too. I somehow think I alone can fix my gambling problem. I have a hard time asking for, and mostly accepting help. I work better alone. I do not like to admit defeat. Because I am Tommy J. The queen essential cats meow!! LOL And until I am beat down to a pulp, I will keep trying. Step 2. I do believe in a Higher Power. And there is no doubt God could remove my compulsion. Step 3 Is turning my life and will over. Giving my life to God,is not where I fall. Its letting go of MY will thats tough. I am like a 5 year old child. Down deep I know His will is better. I do. But I want to do it my own way. You wait here God. If I need you, I will let you know. Geeez. So I personall have spent many times trying to figure out how to let go. How to not think I must do it alone. My mother was married to my step dad. He was very mean and a drunkard. I spent my entire childhood and uo until she died, having to be the man of the house. Dunno if that affects me. But I cannot give up and admit defeat, until I am completely crushed. So 1 2 and 3. Are very important. I agree. I truly work with them, at them every single day.
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