Should I get a Sponsor?

A sponsor can be a true life saver for someone that is trying to overcome their addiction. Sponsors can help through offering guidance and support. Most people that have had sponsors will say that they were essential to their recovery.

Sponsorship is generally part of the 12 Steps Program so a sponsor will likely come from an NA or AA meeting. You ask someone that you think would make a good sponsor and that you feel comfortable with and they will either say yes or no. It is definitely a good idea to ask someone that has been clean a lot longer than you have.

A sponsor is the person that you call when you feel like you just cannot do it any longer. You may have had triggers or are just experiencing a tough time that has made you consider using. Here is the key part, instead of using you call your sponsor.

Sponsors can shed some light on your feelings and they do it from personal experience because they have been down this road and they still battle their own demons. They get it! A sponsor will likely be the most valuable tool in your artillery.

If you are really serious about your sobriety then you should probably get a sponsor. Why not use everything you have access to? Your sobriety is priceless and a sponsor promises to be there for you when you need them most. Recovery is one of the most difficult things you will ever do and there is nothing wrong with getting all the help that is available for you.

  • 38 Commentsby Likes|Date
  • I agree that having a sponsor can be a great idea, particulalry if you feel as if you have no ther people to rely on for support. Also, nobody really understands the exact hell you are going through unless they have been through it themselves. 
  • Yeah I agree as well. Having a sponsor keeps you accountable. You can have someone who will check on you and someone who will make sure you won't do anything you'll regret. They also offer a safe zone. By going to that person you'll feel safe because you know they won't let you do it. Great post btw!
  • Agree as well. Getting a sponsor would be an excellent idea if you feel as if you have no other people to rely on. A sponsor also has felt what you're feeling right now, so I think that you two could understand each other really well.
  • It can be really scary to get a sponsor, because you have to open up to them and be completely honest about your weaknesses in order for them to help. However, it's totally worth it and dramatically increases your chances of success.

    When you're facing a difficult challenge, you need to have every tool and help you can to meet your goal. This is an important one to keep in mind.

  • Take advantage of any support that is available to you. You must remember that these people are trying to help you, and mostly they truly care about your well-being. A sponsor will be able to support you as much as you let them support you. 
  • I agree, the task is hard enough without help, so if you have the possibility to get a sponsor go for it, his/her experience can prove to be priceless. 
  • If you really feel like you need that extra push then a sponsor is a good idea.  I didn't need one because my family was there for me.  In other cases one might be needed becasue may not be readily available.  A sponsor knows that what you are going through and will help you through the hard times.
  • This topic is related to the story that my husband told me. Years before we met, my husband was requested by a family friend to be a buddy of their son Carlos. My husband was 30 that time, working in a bank, and Carlos was 20, out of school, unemployed... and a recovering alcoholic. To think that Carlos' parents were both doctors, huh.

    So it came to pass that Carlos would regularly go to my husband's office just for chit chat but in the guise of learning computers. There was no pc yet that time and computers were the huge mainframes. After some months, Carlos was sent to the US for more treatment. His parents were thankful to my husband for providing that support. Now I know that my husband had acted as sponsor for Carlos.
  • Agreed. Agreed. Agreed.
    Sponsor cannot hurt.
    It may make all the difference in the world.
    I think in this day and age we forget how social humans really are.
    If you have negative social influences then you are apt to do negative things.
    But it works in reverse too! Having that sponsor may be the difference between a very scucessful recovery or a relapse.
  • I wonder if there is a group like AA or NA with a 12-step program targeted at smokers?  I ask because I know there is a similar group for sex addicts as well as food addicts over here.   They have a 12-step program and you can get a sponsor.  Not sure what other addictions are targeted over here, but I'd dare to say there must be a group for smokers? Or maybe not? Because most people see smoking as a nasty habit and not addiction.
  • It's certainly a nice weapon to have in your arsenal. I myself don't have one and I've found that AA isn't for me. That being said, if someone thinks even for a second that it could help, there's certainly no harm in going for it. The worst that happens is you end up in the same place you were before getting said sponsor.
  • Absolutely, go for it! It's great to know there is someone around to support you and help you through the hard road to recovery. I was fortunate enough to have family members around to help me get through my ordeal with drugs. However, not everyone out there may have friends or family members around willing to help, or the ability to do so. 
  • I reckon it is a good idea for the person who needs someone to help them out, which can be beneficial for both sides and learn to trust each other in the process. The person who is the sponsor should be someone who can be trusted, and will need to be honest to the person helping you as the more you say about the issue the more help you will receive. It is a long road to recovery so you will need all the help, you need and the more help you have it will be more easier for you to recover.
  • I also think a sponsor can only do us well because after all is a person with experience that is there for us. If you have the possibility, go for it. 
  • Absolutely yes. I wasn't aware of all this sponsor program, but as you described it, it looks realy useful for someone trying to stay clean. And we all know how hard it is to achieve this, so any help is greatly appreciated.
  • Having a strong support network is essential to recovery. We can't always rely on our family and friends to help us stay clean. Maybe we haven't told them about our problems. Even if we have, if they haven't experienced it themselves, it's hard for them to really understand what we are going through. No matter how much they love us, it's hard for them to relate to our pathology on a fundamental level.

    That's where I find that having a sponsor, or a network of other recovering addicts - or both - can really come in handy. When I feel like using, or when I am feeling down about myself or my recovery, I can always reach out to someone else who is on their own journey through sobriety. We can talk about it and it always makes me feel better. I highly recommend reaching out to other recovering addicts or finding a "sponsor" for your own recovery.
  • If a person desires a sponsor and feels that a sponsor is needed to help them overcome an addiction, then I say go for it. I feel a person should make all the necessary steps that will help them to recover.
  • Oh yes! A sponsor can always be helpful and he/she can help you on your way to let go of all the addictions, but it's also very hard to open up infront of such a sponsor, of course it's going to be easier because he or she has been through addictions too, but still, it's your life, and your recovery, I think that a person should find strength in theirself to overcome everything.
  • It's up to you and the kind of person you are and the person who will sponsor you. It's not my thing since I could never really open up to someone like that, however my roomate has his own sponsor and he sponsors someone himself and I can see and tell just how huge of an impact they have on him and it trully does work.
  • While I definitely agree with you, I would also say that it's easier said than done sometimes. 

    I have encouraged people time and time again to get sponsors....but on the other side, I'll admit that I've never gotten one myself, though, either. It can feel embarrassing or shameful and you may not necessarily feel like you're going to be able to relate to this other person because your own struggles are unique to yourself. 

    If you can talk yourself into getting a sponsor, though, it's one of the best things you might do for your recovery!
  • Sponsors are great for recovery. They are the kind of people needed when you don't feel strong enough or when you have reached the breaking point. It might be scary for some people to open up and share their most intimate secrets with a total stranger. But you would realise in time that having a sponsor saves you from the heartache of going through your recovery alone.

  • I think that getting a sponsor can actually be a great idea, as it means that there is always somebody there who would be able to help you out when you needed them. This is something that a lot of addicts don't have, and this might be one of the main reasons that people struggle to kick the habits that are blighting their lives. So yes, I do think that you should think about. You might find that it gives you the best possible chance of recovery. 
  • I didn't get a sponsor sponsor, I had a friend who had been through exactly what I had and I deemed her my "sponsor". She was there for me when I had doubts and in times I felt like I was close to using again. Im fortunate enough that I hadn't gone down the road of addiction so far that I needed drastic treatment. I consider myself very lucky.
  • A sponsor is a much better idea than a friend or family member in my opinion. A sponsor went through something similar to what you are going through. A friend or family doesn't know the feeling of desperately needing to get back to your addiction, they just know it's bad. You are more likely to listen to somebody that went through addiction, than to somebody who didn't.
  • Well if it doesn't cost you anything you should definitely try and get one, I don't see a reason why you wouldn't get one.
  • At AA, I kind of used a few people in the group as sponsors.  Each one gave me different tips and supported me uniquely, providing a more complete support base.  I guess you would develop a more intimate relationship with a single sponsor though, and whether this will be more effective overall, I'm not sure.  I do think, however, that a sponsor is invaluable in your path to sobriety. 
  • Yes! Having a sponsor is a great idea. If it does not cost you anything, you will not lose anything of value, right? Try asking a friend or family member to help you. Doing things by yourself will only make it more difficult because there will not be a person there to motivate you. Getting yourself a sponsor can only benefit you!
  • I have tried it both ways. Without a sponsor and
    with a sponsor. I can only call on my experience but if I were to chart how I
    did in recovery with and without a sponsor then WITH A SPONSOR wins hands down.
    I realize asking someone to be your sponsor may be intimidating but the rewards
    are awesome. For me my sponsor was not only a friend but a person I could
    bounce questions off about sobriety. Find someone who has an experience similar
    to yours or somebody that is living their life the way you want to live your
    life. I don't believe you will regret the decision to get a sponsor. Good luck
    - you can do it!

  • Honestly, (don't hate me for saying this) not everyone needs a sponsor. The best sponsor you can have is yourself. Your actions and thought process is best controlled by you.

    Having a sponsor, especially someone you know and trust who WILL stay on top of you does not hurt. It all comes back to you though. If you need reassurance and guidance then by all means find you a sponsor! in the end though you are your best sponsor, trust in yourself, you know what needs to be done most of the time, don't rely on someone else to tell you how to stay sober.
  • Getting a sponsor can be a game changer for better or worse. You have to choose a person you feel able to open up to completely, or it won't be beneficial and might even set you back. And if he rides you hard, that isn't your excuse to leave, it just means he's a good sponsor.  
  • I can only give you my own experience. Until I got a sponsor I would go it alone and be OK for 2 or 3 months then relapse. Once I found a sponsor who I felt I could trust I would speak to him daily and I think that was partly responsible for my success. I am coming up on 15 years of sobriety in March. My wife and I moved to Oaxaca, Mexico in April. I found a good meeting and a new sponsor in Oaxaca. (I still call my old sponsor regularly.) It's been a great new adventure and I am still sober.
  • If you feel like you can't handle things on your own then by all means you should get a sponsor. If you frequently go to meetings you have a good chance of finding a good sponsor there, so keep an eye out for every opportunity.
  • I think it's probably an individual circumstance scenario. Some people will do fine without a specific sponsor (and I was one of those people!) because I had a good support network. Some people prefer having a sponsor despite having a support network. And then others again may not have the support network so a sponsor is crucial. It all depends on what you think will work best for you.
  • I think a sponsor is important, if only to learn the ropes of the program. If you're in AA or NA, a sponsor can take you through the 12 Steps, which are really the heart of the program. After working with a couple of different sponsors over the years, I feel that the 12 Steps are engrained in me and a part of my life. I wouldn't have the life I have today is someone hadn't taken the time to take me through the Steps. 
    Also, a sponsor can help put your mind at ease about different things. I would tell my sponsor something I had done and she would laugh and tell me she did the very same thing! It just made me feel better, particularly when I was newly sober, that I wasn't a freak and someone else had the same thoughts I had. 
  • A sponsor is a huge help towards managing your addiction. I have heard countless stories of kind, knowledgeable sponsors that have helped people abstain from drugs and prevented them from giving in. Even if you have stress in your personal life and just want a shoulder to cry on, a sponsor can be there for you.

    You should, however, be cautious and try to find the right sponsor. Some people are haphazardly given the role of "sponsor" but are not very helpful or willing to give you their time. I had a bad experience with a sponsor a while back that ignored my calls and rarely talked to me. It was disheartening but I eventually got a different sponsor that was more sympathetic.
  • I never wanted a sponsor at first because I didn't want to be accountable! It was like having another family member on my back, but this person knew what I was going through! I would totally recommend getting a sponsor! They have been through the ringer too!
  • I did not really think that it made that big of a difference at first, but the more and more it came up the more sense it made.  It was nothing special, either, but really just a designated person to go to.

    I got to know mine pretty well and find it easy to discuss anything with them, which really helps me, and I am sure that it can help others as well.  To each their own.
  • In most cases, sponsors are people who have gone through what you are going through right now. So they are in the best positions to help you when you are in your worst. I also think getting a sponsor is a great idea if you don't have any family member or loved one to help you out or give emotional support.
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