New Year, New Beginnings

Today is my last work day of 2018.... it has been a year full of chaos, hurt, pain, turmoil, fear, anger, sadness, loneliness, questions and a lot of changes for me. I can say I've pretty much experienced every emotion there is to experience throughout 2018.

This morning, I saw two quotes that just completely capture where I am right now in my life:
"gather up all your scattered dreams & build the life you love"

"When you finally learn that a person's behavior has more to do with their own internal struggle than it ever did with you.... you learn GRACE"

Guys, I'm leaving 2018 with GRACE. I have forgiven my now ex-husband in my own way. I never got to have a final goodbye, I never got closure in a way I felt I needed to. I may get that opportunity one day, but I am at peace right now. I understand that he battles addiction, and that this is his fight not mine. I now understand that there is NOTHING I can do to "save" him from his battles. My heart hurts for him and I hate the person that addiction has made him but he is the only one that can stop his downward spiral. I just pray he finds peace with himself and is strong enough to get the help he needs and stick to it before anything further bad happens to him. He has burned every bridge with all of his siblings, with his children, with his closest and most supportive friends, and most of his extended family at this point. He has caused an accident that resulted in the death of an innocent person and broke the hearts of that whole family. He is likely facing prison time due to this. He shattered my heart & tore our marriage apart.

This time last year I never would have imagined the hell that was to come. But it happened. And, I survived and I became a stronger and better person because of it. 2019 is going to be a year of finding me, finding who I am and building a life I love. And moving on, whatever that consists of lol. I am going to use my experiences to HELP others that are going through what I have gone through and have so many questions and are living in a world of chaos due to the addiction of loved ones. I am going to try new things that I have never done... I'm going to go on adventures and just live. I'm going to become a grandma in April. I have so much to look forward to.

I want to wish each and every one of you a very Happy New Year and thank you for your support and encouragement this past year. I have made some of the closest friends that have been there for me in my darkest hours on this forum. There are many moments that I don't know what I would have done had I not been able to reach out for support here. I am forever grateful!

@dominica @DeanD @tiredmom @blueorchid @JoshuaShea
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  • @Drained1 i'm glad to hear your optimism! and that you are ending the year with grace..... you've had a year for sure, and you also have grown in so many ways.... i'm truly proud of you...and grateful to know you.

    may we all have better 2019..... be blessed and continue to grow and evolve while we are here on this planet. sending you so much love....good wishes...and big hug!

    happy new year!
  • I love that you said 2019 will be a year you find yourself @Drained1 You have come so far and been through so much in the past year. Your plans for adventures and just living is awesome. I have a good feeling you are going to build a beautiful life for yourself. You truly deserve it. And I am happy for you that you were able to find GRACE. I think I could use some of that about now myself. Hope you are having a great day!
  • @Drained1... Love you. And am soooo proud of you. You faced so much adversity in 2018, but you overcame it because you've grown so much. It's been so wonderful watching you change and grow stronger. I know 2019 will be a badass year for you!

    “Grace means you’re in a different universe from where you had been stuck, when you had absolutely no way to get there on your own.” -Anne Lamott
  • @Drained1 You'e had a hell of a story to follow in 2018. I'm sure 2019 will be a little less action-packed...and I mean that in a good way. You faced the sad truth many who love addicts eventually must. In some ways, it feels like giving in and becoming a statistic, but in reality, it's setting yourself free and allowing yourself to have the life you deserve. I don't think you need to make too many resolutions for 2019. You more than paid the price in 2018...but we both know you're better for it.
  • I came here late, but I wish you a fantastic year and lots of love!!! You deserve to be free.
  • How are you @Vicbrenan ?? Haven't seen you post on your post lately. Hope you are good.
  • @Drained1 You have a warrior mentality and been through so much! Prayers and strength for you to heal and may you have the best year of your life in 2019! Great attitude!! Live your life healthy and toxic free! You deserve happiness!!
  • Hello @JoshuaShea You are right on point. @Drained1 did alot to better her life in 2018. Her story can be an inspiration to others in similar situations. She could be the poster woman of women who make the choice to let go of the toxicity and find strength to better their lives instead of trying to save another.
  • good morning. I hope each and every one of you had a wonderful New Year! I took a break from emails over the long weekend and I am just not getting all of the notifications. My New Year was great. I want to thank each and every one of you for your kind words and support. It's a new year... I am a new person and I plan on using all of my chaos from 2018 to help others in the coming year.

    I got a facebook message from my ex's brother on Sunday afternoon saying that he had somehow seen a post that I made on facebook and he was talking crap about a few of the comments. He just wanted me to be aware that he was still "creeping" on my page, wasn't trying to stir the pot. I knew exactly which post he was referring to. I made the post public because it was an article that put everything I had been feeling and been through because of him into words. I never got to give him my letter and likely never will. But the article I posted.... it was just perfect. I told his brother that I hope he read the article and that it was the closest I was going to get to closure and that I could care less about how he felt about some of the comments. That if he don't like it he shouldn't be looking at my page. It was such a nice experience to not have instant anxiety, or to feel as though I shouldn't have left it public. I didn't feel guilty. It was very freeing. His brother and I have talked a few times on fb messenger but I've pretty much stepped away from all of his siblings... although none of them are talking to him anymore either, I just needed to step away and clear my head and heart if that makes sense. We all wished each other a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, but not really much more in a while.

    I was at church on Sunday morning. There was a man there that stood and shared about his 2018. His year started in a jail cell.... he is a recovering addict. Has been clean 3 years and has taken and continues to take steps to remain that way. He now has a place of his own, his own vehicle, is starting a better job. His life has changed is so many ways and he said that prison time saved him from his "downward spiral". He shared his story and I was in tears as he spoke. I realized at that moment that this stranger's story could very possibly be my ex-husband's story one day. I know this sounds a little warped, but I am hoping that prison time saves his life. I know that 2019 is going to be the year that his whole entire life is changed. He is going to have to face the reality that he took an innocent person's life in that accident. He is going to have to face the reality that he has burned many bridges with people that once would have done anything for him. He has forever altered his relationship with his children and his siblings.

    But, that's all for him to sort out and work through. As for me, I am working on me. I have already began to pinpoint areas in my life that I need to work on. Feelings and emotions that I've pushed in rather than working through in a few different areas of my life. I want to be the best ME possible. I have a niece that is going through exactly what I just went through, it's heartbreaking to see it from where I am now. When I was going through it, it was just a chaotic blur. But I am thankful that I can use my experiences to be able to sincerely say " I get it, I know what you are feeling"

    I am going to end this with a portion of a message my niece sent me.... THIS is why I am not taking my experiences for granted... this is why I am going to continue to grow and continue to help others as well:
    "I have to admit, I'm kind of jealous. Well, not even really jealous... I look up to you for breaking the cycle and for being the person you deserve to be. Not just for going back to church but for seeing you go through all of this crap this past year and making it out on the other side. And while you had your own battle roaring, you still have been here for me and have been honest and vulnerable about it all. You were still helping me and being a strength in my life when you felt you were at your weakest. You are one of the strongest women I know."



  • @Drained1 hey there. super glad your new year is off to a great start!! may this year be super amazing on all levels. thanks for sharing your journey here with us. such an inspiration for sure.....

    you are breaking a cycle...and along with you, we do hope and pray that your ex can get the help he needs and turn his life around....

    sending big love your way!
  • I don't think it's warped at all @Drained1 , that you hope prison time changes his life. Hopefully it will. I'm glad you are looking forward to your own healing and want to be the best person you can be. And it's great you are able to be of some help with your niece. It seems like she really is looking up to you and I am sure your own strength will be an inspiration to her. It's really wonderful you want to help and be supportive of others. I know that when we see what others are going through we are seeing things from the outside and can see more clearly their situations, which in turn can help us see our own more clearly. At least that is how it works for me. You are definitely on the road to a much happier and healthier life, and I am so glad for you.
  • I'm glad your ex saw that post, @Drained1. I hope he read the article. And I hope he gets whatever help he truly needs ASAP. Hope your new year is the best one yet. :)
    And I'm sorry about your Dawgs. :(
  • Thank you @DeanD !!! so thankful for you and your support in 2018!! And..... the Dawgs..... smh..... not quite sure where they were but they didn't show up
  • Guys..... I have been in my current position in my work place for 2 years now. I've become close friends with many of my coworkers and the ones closest to me all have gone through this past year and all of the ups and downs in my life with me. Just now I was sitting at the front desk talking to my friend that is the receptionist during my last few moments of my lunch break. Another gentleman coworker was standing there and we were talking about my life and how many changes have happened this past year. He knew bits and pieces of it but he travels a lot for our company so he is kind of out of the loop as to the pure chaos that has happened. My friend stated how proud she was of me for where I am now and all I've gone through making so much stronger even when I couldn't see how strong I was being. I told her that all I needed to work on now was me. The gentleman standing there began to talk about how he remembers the day he made the decision to change for himself. He began talking about how addiction to drugs had consumed his life and he spent in total 11 years in prison due to his actions while letting addiction control him. I was floored ya'll! This man was opening up and it was yet another person this week stating right in front of me how prison saved his life from addiction. He was talking about how he stole from people, stole vehicles, did whatever it took to obtain his next high and never saw how much he was hurting those that loved him. He knew deep down he had a good heart and was a good man with the potential to have a good life but he did not know how to stop the madness in his life. It consumed him. Literally, he said one day in prison he broke. He said nothing in particular happened to cause it.... he was just done with it. I know I will never have the ability to go through this again with my ex-husband as far as a relationship, but I will always want better for him and always have a spot in my heart for him and these two stories from these men this week have given me hope for him and his future. His ex and I were talking just yesterday and she has said that her daughter has been struggling with not knowing what to say or how to react to his craziness in texts or phone calls. They decided.... his ex, his daughter and her stepdad together as a unit.... that she was going to respond to him instead of ignoring him as long as he is not being stupid. But she is going to respond with positive responses... even if it's just "I love you daddy, I'm sorry you're having a bad day" If she doesn't feel that she needs to continue the conversation beyond that, she isn't going to. They want to try to lift him up. We all want better for him. I know all of this may sound cheesy to you guys, but I really feel so positive and peaceful right now in my life.... and I feel good about this decision they made as well.
  • Sounds like his ex, daughter, and her stepdad made a good decision, @Drained1. I hope they're able to lift up your ex and help him find his way to a better place. I will say a prayer for everyone.

    And yeah, it's weird how you've encountered multiple examples of how prison has helped people just this week. Could be a good sign from above, me thinks!

    Happy Little Friday!!! :)
  • @Drained1 I think that is the best way to respond to him also. Saying something positive to him may help to calm his own thoughts and behavior. I never wanted to be intentionally mean to my ex, even though he probably deserved it. Even though we divorced I always wanted him to have a good life. I held a special place in my heart for him throughout my entire life and only wished for the best for him. He was my first love and definitely the most intense love I ever had. At times he was an absolute nightmare, but I knew he was sick and I always felt bad about that. I do think your ex will find himself if he goes to prison. He will still need people in his life who love and care about him. This could be what will change him for the better. I think someone up above wants you to feel some comfort and this could be a message for you.
  • @DeanD & @tiredmom i am definitely taking it as a sign from above for comfort. I would love to be able to share all of this directly with him but that door will likely never reopen, especially not right now. I am at peace in so many ways in my life right now and that just added to it.
  • @Drained1 that is cool that you encountered 2 men that have changed their lives due to prison time... and yes, we believe with you that your ex can change too!! i'm glad to hear you are peaceful and happier!!
  • @Drained If you remember, about a month ago my son was using again and was going downhill fast. I tried to convince him to hand over his drugs or I was going to call the police. He didn't give me everything he had and I decided to stop allowing him to get away with everything. Anyway, he was charged with possession and today he had a preliminary hearing. The D.A. was pretty tough on him and he end up offering him 3 years probation. He is going to have more charges coming for wrecking his car. I don't know how he is going to do it, or he is going to end up in jail. At this point he has had no consequences for anything. So if he goes to jail then that could be a good thing. So far he has been clean for 34 days, but is struggling with post acute withdrawal that could last for months or a year. He has no energy. So I told him he can deal with his low energy at home in his cozy room or a jail cell.
  • @tiredmom I do remember that. I'm sorry you have all had to go through that again! But perhaps, like my ex-husband, it's time to face consequences for the first time. My ex has never had to face any, and never been alone or to where someone wasn't able to help him get back up on his feet. The fact that the DA here is taking so long to press charges makes me believe they may have a good amount on my ex and want a tight case. My guess is that he will eventually be charged with vehicular homicide, dui, failure to maintain lane, speeding and perhaps even possession if they found what his brother and I found in the truck. Again, that's just assuming I am correct in thinking he was messed up.... which ALL signs lead me to believe that is the case.

    The Georgia State Patrol is investigating the accident... they have what is called a SCRT Team & SCRT report and his accident was STILL being investigated as of the week before Christmas. Here is what the website states about this:
    "The mission of the Georgia State Patrol Specialized Collision Reconstruction Team (SCRT) is to provide a means by which fatal crashes can be investigated thoroughly by specially trained investigators and properly document evidence in collisions to be used for successful court prosecution."

    I'm frustrated that it's taking so long for something to be done or to AT LEAST find out for sure what caused the accident. I think that once I know for sure, I will be able to fully close all doors to 2018.

    @tiredmom please keep me posted on how you and your son are both doing!
  • That is pretty interesting regarding the SCRT Team @Drained1 . The part I don't get is how it says they investigate thoroughly, yet you guys found a bottle and a phone that they apparently didn't take? I guess it makes me wonder if they even searched for anything in the car. I guess they know what they are doing though, but it is taking a long time, isn't it. I think it will definitely be good for you to have that closure also. Hope you're having a good day.
  • @tiredmom I know they did search it because the search warrant was in the seat of the truck when his brother and I went there after it was released and you could tell that everything had been gone through as far as all his papers and bags of clothes. I asked a cop friend (my 1st husband was a cop.... as ironic as that is lol and I still have a few friends that I had when he and I were together) why his phone and the pill bottle and a pill was all still in his truck after being searched. She told me that sometimes if they have found more than enough they will sometimes just stop the search. Kind of like, if someone breaks into a house and kills someone they aren't going to spend time focused on the break in when they have all the evidence they need regarding murder. If that makes sense. I get it, but it still seems they would have gotten EVERYTHING. She said they could extract all info from his phone and leave it there, that was common. I hope they did search it good and did find what needed to be found. I'm just ready to get some closure from that for sure. I'm sure the other family is as well.

    I'm doing good, having a good day so far. I'm going on an adventure tomorrow!! @dominica & @DeanD you two will be proud of me. We used to have a bluetick that my ex hunted and I spoiled lol When all this happened time before this, I moved into where I am. When he moved in with me we decided to give our dog back to the breeder we got him from b/c my place just isn't what he needed and my ex needed to focus on himself and working through everything and wasn't going to have time to spend on him like he needed. ( the dog LOVES to hunt!! ) Anyway, I've always kept in touch with the gentleman and we have actually become friends over the years. He is a Dad figure to me and he thinks of me as a daughter. He has kept in touch with me and checked on me throughout all of this past year. When he got our dog back, he was aware of the reason why we had to give him back so when it happened again he was upset for me. Last Saturday I went and saw them both at a bench show/hunt about 1.5 hrs away from my house. I loved every moment!!
    It was wonderful to get away and do something different. It was a freeing feeling.
    Anyway, the dog met all requirements this year to register for the BIG hunt ... it's the hunt of all hunts. They registered him and are there with him now. It's all weekend long. But, I am leaving early tomorrow morning and going out there to spend the day... it's in SC and will take me 3 hrs to get there but I'm super excited about the day!! It's a huge event and another friend that I used to spend time with a lot is also going to be there. I had a friend invite me over to their house this Saturday and I told her "I can't, I'm going on an adventure. I'm living life and doing things that I want to do!" I am so happy to be at this point in my journey. It may seem dumb or small but to me it's adding to my peace.
  • That sounds super exciting @Drained1 ! I am sure you are going to have a great time. Damn girl, you really do have a lot of great people in your life looking out for you! I'm not surprised though, as I can sense you have an awesome personality and are the kind of person people would want to be friends with. So glad you are doing things for you and are finding peace too!
  • @Drained1 And I just want to remind you, jail (or prison) is not always a bad thing. While I think I turned the corner on my recovery before I was sentenced, it was - and still is - a big deterrent from me doing something stupid again. While probation hasn't been too rough for me, I've seen a lot of people who have a harder time with it than they do the jail time.
    Yes, jail sucks, and I don't think I would have gone back to my addictive vices had I only been given probation - but it does allow for long, quiet stretches of contemplation. I couldn't handle them all, so I started writing them down. Other guys do a lot of talking. There are very few people, at least where I was, who couldn't wait to hit the streets and get back into drinking, robbing or whatever else put them there. Most talked about turning things around. It's like the worst-run rehab in the world that way.
    I'm glad to see you're taking care of yourself.
  • @Drained1 it's not dumb or small at all! it's wonderful and i'm so happy for you! doing things you love or trying new things, that's part of what life is supposed to be about!! :) you go and have a joyous time! sc is a beautiful state!

    so good to hear your bright and cheery spirit.. <3
  • Happy Friday, @Drained1! Hope you have a FABULOUS weekend! :)
  • @tiredmom I had that epic bonfire last night and my wedding album and wedding dress are no longer with us! My neighbors and I had a wonderful night. And you know what... I was able to look through that album and not even get a tear in my eyes. I pulled out a picture of me and my Mom and a picture of me and my daughter and the rest went up in flames. No tears.... no anxiety... just freedom.

    @DeanD #badass2019 is in the works ;)
  • Love it—and you—@Drained1!!! <3
  • Isn't it wonderful @Drained1 , when we finally reach that point where we are able to liberate ourselves and not be a big ball of emotions! Good for you. And glad you had a good weekend and some fun with your neighbors.
  • @tiredmom it was a wonderful feeling. And, Saturday I did go on my "adventure" and it was one of the best and most fun days I've had in a very very long time!!! I won't lie, I got choked up on the way there because I was thinking how much fun we could have had doing that together under normal circumstances and thought how much he would have loved it. But I got past that and I truly enjoyed the ride there, had an AMAZING time while I was there and enjoyed being around different friends and even made a few new friends. I enjoyed the ride back home as well. It was truly a perfect day.
  • @Drained1 I am so happy you had a good adventure! And yay for burning the wedding dress! Bet that felt good in a way!

    I think it’s great to offer support for your ex and his family, they all need prayers and love. Prison is not bad, it’s a horrible place to be but sometimes it can be the thing to turn it all around! And I do believe in divine intervention and spiritual signs, the fact that you’ve heard numerous positive prison stories is definitely a sign to trust and feel comfort in that outcome!
  • Somehow I missed your last post to me @Drained1. I'm glad you had so much fun and was able to enjoy yourself so much. I can tell you are the kind of person that can make friends and who has the type of personality that draws people to them. Good for you. And I am glad you were able to get past the little moment you had. You will probably have more moments like that, but the good thing is you were able to get past it. Sounds like you have a great start to the new year!
  • @Vicbrenan Thank you for your encouragement, and it felt GREAT! I really feel like I've been getting numerous signs that are of comfort to me and give me hope that even though he is facing a long road ahead, perhaps his whole life can be changed in a positive way.

    @tiredmom how are you doing? How is your son??
  • I'm doing pretty good @Drained1. It's been pretty quiet in my life right now and that is a good thing. I have been a little bit busy taking my son to a few appointments each week. He is home and has been opiate free for 41 days. He still complains of having little to no energy so not sure if he is suffering post acute withdrawal or if his meds have anything to do with it. But ever since his head injury years ago he has had problems with motivation and energy. He claims that is why he started taking drugs to begin with. To self medicate. He is still smoking a little bit of weed almost every day. About a half a teaspoon full. He is not getting any type of anxiety meds from his doctor anymore and he claims the little bit of weed helps him with the anxiety. I would rather he not be smoking, but at this point he is not on opiates and I am not having to pick him up off the floor. So I am hoping if he stays free from opiates and can get through that, that there will come a time he won't need weed either. Actually, he will be going on probation the end of March and will be tested, so he will have no choice but to give it up, unless he can get a medical marijuana card. I'm still not sure how I feel about that, but I do know people who it has helped tremendously for different reasons. I'll leave it up to the doctor to figure out.
  • I get your ambivalence about the marijuana card, @tiredmom. I felt the same way when my son got his card. That said, I do think the weed helped him more than a lot of meds he's tried did. But I still don't know how I feel about regular, long-term use of marijuana. It's kind of a catch 22 in my mind.

    By the way, 41 days opiate-free is a wonderful accomplishment for your son. Be sure to give him some positive reinforcement. Too often we only give our kids negative reinforcement when they screw up. They deserve to hear from us when they're doing good things, too.

    Happy Friday! Have a great weekend!
  • Hi @DeanD Yes it is a tough call on the medical marijuana. I'm not sure if he will even be able to get it, but we'll see. I'll talk to his psychiatrist for sure! I am giving him a lot of positive reinforcement and my husband has been getting along with him and has been very kind towards him also. I'm out this evening with my husband sitting in a valvoline oil change garage. Lol. It's good to be able to go out and not worry about my son. He is having dinner at a good friends house and then they are going to watch a movie. Happy Friday to you too!!
  • I can see you’re getting your weekend off to a romantic start, @tiredmom. Those Valvoline oil change places are soooooo sexy! ;)
  • That cracked me up @DeanD! They are if you sneak into the bathroom and pull your hubby in with you!
  • Be careful with that oil, @tiredmom! :o
  • Just had to get our family to get us out of jail. We got caught in the bathroom and were arrested. Just kidding! Lol. It is getting more romantic as we are headed out for a steak dinner. Eating late tonight. Omg
  • @DeanD @tiredmom yall cracking me up! Hahaha but I needed that!!! @tiredmom so glad to hear things are going good for you guys right now!!

    Well, I expected some sort of chaos would try and ruin my peace. This evening I had my phone in my hand and was about to send my ex sis in law a msg bc i just had a gut feeling that something wasn't "right". I deleted the msg I had started and told myself "if there is something you need to know you will" And I sat my phone down. Not even 5 minutes later I got a msg from her. She asked if I talked to their baby brother anymore and I told her no and asked why. She said she had not talked to my ex in weeks... This evening he called her and said he wanted to get the 4wheeler he gave his nephew (her son) from my house and that their baby brother could come get it. She cannot have it at her house, the landlord wont allow it so it has stayed here. She said "I am not dumb. I was gonna tell him it's not at your house that it's in storage" I told her that he will sell it if he gets it back and she said "I know". So she called him back and told him it was in storage and not at my house. He went off the deep end and said if he dont get it back by the weekend he will report it stolen and press charges to have me arrested and he dont care about the tpo. So, rather than get my parents on edge by having an officer come to my house I rode to the police station and spoke with an officer. Gave him all the background on my ex and that both myself and his sister feel he just wants it back so he call sell it and asked if I could be in trouble. He said that the best thing to do is have her come get it and store it somewhere else. But that he feels its a "scare tactic" to get what he wants but if I even catch wind that he may be coming in my direction to call them. And I assure you, that's what I will do. He said in his text to her that he would break the tpo and then break my head "like a grape". He was making it like i was keeping the 4wheeler from his nephew lol all while trying to take it back from him....smh. We all know his games. His sisyer was like "he probably already has it sold and now he is mad cause he can't get it"

    So its gonna be a long weekend of watching my surroundings and listening out overnight. I don't think he will try anything stupid but I won't let my guard down. But I am not gonna let him or his issues steal my peace and joy....

    I hope you guys have a wonderful weekend
  • Sorry that happened, @Drained1. Please keep your guard up and be safe. I’m glad you went and talked to the police, too.

    You have a wonderful weekend, too!
  • @Drained1 Yes, definitely keep your guard up. You have to remember that he could still be using drugs and you don't know if he is worse now or not. I don't remember if you said he was using more than just opiates. Is there anything else he was using? I worry about what kind of state of mind he could be in. I think you are right about him wanting to sell the. 4-wheeler. You don't know how desperate he could be and you need to get that out of your house asap. You don't need any more issues involving him, that's for sure. Also, I don't want to make you worry more than you need to, but he is going to go to jail and really he is a man with nothing much to lose right now. So hopefully he doesn't get any more stupid ideas and come around and start trouble with you. It never hurts to be extra cautious. If by some chance he would show up, don't even open your door. Call the police immediately. I think you probably already know that though. Once my ex husband knew for certain there was no chance of getting back together, he became very angry and started blaming me for all of his bullshit, and got the mentality that he already lost everything so what the hell. Honestly, if it were me I wouldn't care who took it. I would just want it gone. I think I would tell his sister if she wants it for her son then she needs to come and get it. Hope you are able to have a good night and weekend.
  • Please check in with us here and there to let us know you're doing alright, okay @Drained1? I worry about you!!!
  • Hi @DeanD I am good so far. The 4wheeler is still in the yard and as far as I know all was calm last night. But honestly I just went to sleep and didn't stress. I presume IF he really is hard up to get it back then he would likely ride by overnight and see if he can spot it. So it's more the remainder of the weekend I am concerned about.

    @tiredmom he said he was mixing meth & roxies when he left here. I had never been around meth so that explained why he was so different than all previous opiate relapses. He had been extremely addicted to meth years ago and was able to get off of that but his sister and his ex said that how he was and is still acting is how he was while on meth. Based on his outbursts on social media and directly towards people and the fact that I had heard he was awake all hours of the night leads me to believe he is still likely using and its probably meth.

    His sister said he "butt dialed" her and she heard him screaming and belittling the lady he is with. Said she had never heard someone say such hateful and cold hearted things to someone. The next day at work she told the lady (its her "friend" and coworker that he is with) that she needs to get him out of her house bc he is using her and don't love her and that he never spoke to me or his ex like what she had overheard. The lady apparently went back and told him and he called his sister while she was at their family Christmas party and was screaming to the top of his lungs at her and she just hung up on him. That was the last she had heard from him until yesterday.

    I fully believe he was using or needing to use yesterday based on his actions.

    I will def be keeping my guard up and I am not worried about him or the consequences he will face if I have to call the cops. I am done with that. I am done protecting his crazy self.
  • That is exactly what I thought he was using. I kind of remembered there being something said regarding meth. That certainly explains it, if he is up all hours of the night, and the screaming and raging. Meth is a terrible drug and people can become psychotic and violent. Thank goodness you were able to get away from him when you did. I'm glad you won't hesitate to call the police if you have to. I think the sooner he goes to jail the better for everyone. Is someone coming to get the 4-wheeler off of your property? I hope so.
  • @tiredmom I told her that they needed to find somewhere else to keep it because I am done with all his craziness. But I kind of wish she would have just stood up to him and told him it was fine here rather than making it look like I was keeping it from anyone. I am going to talk with her again today to see what they are going to do with it. I am also going to ask her to make it known I am not keeping it from her
  • She absolutely needs to make it known that you weren't trying to keep it from her @Drained1 . And that she wanted you to store it there because he gave it to her son, but had nowhere to keep it. Honestly, if it was your ex's to begin with and he just gave it away, but now wants it back, if I was his sister, I'd say. f&%$ it, and let him have it. It's not worth the hassle of having to deal with him.
  • Happy Monday, @Drained1! I hope you have a fabulous week!!! :)
  • Happy Monday to you as well @DeanD !!! Hope you had a wonderful weekend!! Mine was actually low key and quiet .. much better than how it started out on Friday evening.
  • I'm glad to hear that, @Drained1! No drama is definitely a good thing!!!
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